I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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