OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
How does one acquire holy water?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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