the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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