hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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