but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I believe in your delicious
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
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