Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
