drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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