I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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