just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
