Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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