God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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