i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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