Please, let me fuck your mom
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
