That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize