Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
