During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
