just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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