I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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