a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
