i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
