): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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