i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
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then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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