I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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