did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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