I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize