i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize