Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
