I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
In other news, I just burned my penis
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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