so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
