So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize