ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize