My brain says no but my pants say off.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I hope mine doesn't look like that
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
