i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
