Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
