that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Randomize