To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
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the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
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Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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