i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I believe in your delicious
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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