So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
