I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
