i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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