wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You are a genius and a whore.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize