...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
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just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
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If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
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