While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
