i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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