I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
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