dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Don't make out with my wife yet
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I wish i was in the wii world.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
