You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
