I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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