it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize