Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
