a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Randomize
