My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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