I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Randomize
