I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
