I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
