One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I have fence marks all over my body
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
