shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
