No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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