i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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