I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
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